You know the best thing about nearly losing your mind......
Getting it back again!
It's like a long lost friend that you haven't seen for a while, and then they surprise you and turn up unexpectedly....well the drinks are on me cos this is a cause for celebration!!
When you've opened up your head and had a real good look at what's in there, thrown out the rubbish and given it a real good old spring clean,
It's amazing how clear everything becomes.
Like a crystal blue ocean on a hot summers day, I can finally see all the danger that lurks beneath.
I have been letting those sharks feed off me for a long time now, it must have been all that bleeding and splashing around I did.....but not anymore cos I have stitched up those wounds, and taken some serious swimming lessons................
And guess what, now I'm ready to swim with the dolphins!!
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
A Perception Based on Reality
What am I supposed to be getting here?
You have two contradictory realities happening ......
What you say.....which puts you in a positive light!
AND..What you actually do...which puts you in the negative!
How could I possibly believe your words, when your actions tell a different story?
What would you like me to believe?
That you treated me with the love, respect, honesty and dignity, that I deserved.
That you are a stand-up guy that steps up to the plate when the going gets tough.
That you were on my team, and always on the look-out for me!
That you feel empathy for me and understand my feelings!
That you value the amount of money I invested in our future together!
That you will forever cherish the memories and times we shared!
That you loved me so very much and how painful it was to leave me
That you missed me and wanted to keep me in your life, because you valued what I had contributed to it!
That you were actually interested in resolving our issues so we could both gain something from our experience!
Yes, these are the things that you would have me believe, but on what basis? Where is the proof of any of this?
When in my reality you took what was given in love, and when the well run dry, you left!
You never made any contact, you wiped me out of your existence!
And when I gave you many many opportunities to prove any of the above to be true, I was treated like a nuisance, an intrusion, an embarrassment from your past, , a stalker, a dangerous person.
You replaced me immediately, if not before you left!
You took all my insecurities and vulnerabilities and used them against me!
You looked down your nose at the life I had struggled to build!
You de-valued my efforts and said I had no purpose, when my whole existence revolved around making you happy!
Is this what you want me to get?
That you distort the truth in your own mind, so that you can justify anything that you do to people.
That pretty much every negative thing you said about me, is contradicted by my actions.
That pretty much every positive thing you said to me, is contradicted by your actions.
Because this is what you gave me! And since you told me you never do or say anything by chance, I assume this is what you intended!
You have two contradictory realities happening ......
What you say.....which puts you in a positive light!
AND..What you actually do...which puts you in the negative!
How could I possibly believe your words, when your actions tell a different story?
What would you like me to believe?
That you treated me with the love, respect, honesty and dignity, that I deserved.
That you are a stand-up guy that steps up to the plate when the going gets tough.
That you were on my team, and always on the look-out for me!
That you feel empathy for me and understand my feelings!
That you value the amount of money I invested in our future together!
That you will forever cherish the memories and times we shared!
That you loved me so very much and how painful it was to leave me
That you missed me and wanted to keep me in your life, because you valued what I had contributed to it!
That you were actually interested in resolving our issues so we could both gain something from our experience!
Yes, these are the things that you would have me believe, but on what basis? Where is the proof of any of this?
When in my reality you took what was given in love, and when the well run dry, you left!
You never made any contact, you wiped me out of your existence!
And when I gave you many many opportunities to prove any of the above to be true, I was treated like a nuisance, an intrusion, an embarrassment from your past, , a stalker, a dangerous person.
You replaced me immediately, if not before you left!
You took all my insecurities and vulnerabilities and used them against me!
You looked down your nose at the life I had struggled to build!
You de-valued my efforts and said I had no purpose, when my whole existence revolved around making you happy!
Is this what you want me to get?
That you distort the truth in your own mind, so that you can justify anything that you do to people.
That pretty much every negative thing you said about me, is contradicted by my actions.
That pretty much every positive thing you said to me, is contradicted by your actions.
Because this is what you gave me! And since you told me you never do or say anything by chance, I assume this is what you intended!
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